If you’ve been watching Vanderpump Rules this season, then you know that half the cast is cheating on their partners, and the other half is acting like they’re deeply concerned for said partners, when really they’re loving every second of the drama.
At first, it looked like Jax cheating on Brittany would continue to dominate the race for this season’s most incendiary infidelity.
But in the past few weeks, a true dark horse candidate has emerged to prove that it’s not about the pasta … but it is about the noodles.
Yes, for the past two weeks, the show’s cast has been urging James Kennedy to come out the closet in response to rumors that he’s sleeping with his roommate, Logan Noh.
At first, they were basically tenting their fingers and cackling maniacally over the situation, but then someone whispered to them that they work in West Hollywood; they annually culture vulture a gay pride parade; and it’s 2018, so they probably should adopt a less bigoted stance on the possibility of their co-star being bisexual.
Now, their noses are still buried deep in James’ personal business, but they’ve changed their tack bit by pretending that they’re deeply concerned for his girlfriend.
It’s a tactic known as “concern-trolling” and it’s beloved by people who know what’s best for you.
Anyway, offering your two cents on the alleged romance between James and Logan has quickly emerged as the best way to guarantee yourself some of that sweet, sweet screentime this season, and the cast is behaving accordingly.
Even exiled former SUR-vers are getting in on the act, such as one Faith Stowers confirmed that James is gay and sleeping with Logan in a recent interview with Radar Online.
Of course, even the most salacious and problematic storylines get old after a while, so it should come as no surprise that
the show’s writers James decided to put an end to the rumors once and for all on last night’s episode of Vanderpump.
Logan apparently told Brittany Cartwright’s visiting sister that he and James were sleeping together, but then he threw in a “welcome to Hollywood,” so he may have just wanted to give her Kentucky ass a story to go home with.
When James found out about this, he confronted Logan on speaker phone in front of an audience.
Logan admitted to lying and chalked it up to “being a jealous bitch,” but that wasn’t quite the end of it.
Many viewers pointed out that the conversation seemed very staged, and they’re right–but that doesn’t necessarily mean it was orchestrated by James and Logan.
Kennedy’s horrendous acting has been on display throughout this season, such as when he incessantly repeated “it’s not about the pasta,” having obviously been coached by producers.
It’s reality television, folks.
If you try to separate the real from the scripted, you wind up sounding like Neil DeGrasse Tyson watching an episode of Black Mirror.
The point is, this lame-ass storyline is being put to rest, and for that, we’re eternally grateful.
Watch Vanderpump Rules online for more from reality TV’s most sociopathic cast.