Donald Trump’s first State of the Union went live on Tuesday night – and so did The Late Show right after.
“We are live right now and barely conscious following a 90-minute speech,” host Stephen Colbert opened. “Going into this evening, the bar for success was pretty low. He just had to stay on script no matter what, and he did.”
Commenting on First Lady Melania Trump’s choice to ride to the speech with guests she’d invited instead of her husband, Colbert said, “I guess Melania didn’t want anything from the Burger King drive-thru.”
He then complimented some of the guests in attendance: “Honestly, some of the most beautiful, impressive Americans you could imagine. And the president was there, too.”
After sharing a SotU clip in which Trump said, “We have endured floods and fires and storms,” Colbert quipped, “And Stormys. Don’t forget her, she was the most expensive disaster for you, personally.” He added of Trump sending his love to those states ravaged by natural disasters, “That is going to be a comforting message to the people of Puerto Rico when they have electricity to turn on their TVs.”
One of Trump’s more notable quotes of the night, addressing the American people, was “If there’s a mountain, we climb it. If there’s an opportunity, we seize it.” Colbert cut in: “If there’s a burger, we eat it. If there is a porn star, we bone it. If there is an immigrant, we deport it. If there’s an investigation, we undermine it.”
After a litany of zingers, Colbert showed a clip of Trump saying, “For the last year we have sought to restore the bonds of trust between our citizens and their government.” To which the comedian concluded, “Well, better luck next year.”